Do-it-Afraid: Overcoming my Fear of Self-Hosted Events
When I was 15 years old, I planned my first ever birthday party — and NO ONE showed up!
I was in my final year in secondary school, I had a small circle of friends and the party was really to be a small do to hang out with my girls. I don’t remember the details of what meals I had prepared, but I do recall that I dressed up in my simple party wear, and waited.
And waited. Then I waited some more. I walked to the end of entrance of my street then, trying to see if I could at least spy one person from afar. I made that walk perhaps five times before I gave up.
No one was coming. And I didn’t cry. But I internalised it — I would always be there for others, but no one would ever show up for me. And that is how I have lived — until last Thursday March 30th 2023.
My Experience with Experiencing PR
In Q4:2020 when the idea for Experiencing PR came, the concept was simple: I had had enough of public relations conversations with only PR professionals in the room. Those conversations were not translating to increased income because prospective clients better understood the value of the work I do. I still had to spend time educating clients on why the sum total of Public Relations is not Media Relations.
Experiencing PR was thus my answer to the dilemma of limited understanding and value of public relations by the stakeholders who could engage us as professionals. It was a platform to get third party validation for the profession, to receive testimonials about PR so that business executives and public office holders could see what they were missing out on.
In 2021, we delivered the first edition — and it was virtual. Everyone was online then. While we got about 150 attendees, it did not quite allay my fears of people not showing up for me.
Experiencing PR 2023: The Wins, The Fears
In Q4:2022, in the midst of the most devastating personal pain — I determined that the intermittent progress at Nigerian Women in PR had to stop. We redefined our objectives, developed an organisational chart, and finally had a brand relaunch with renewed focus and vigor — and that is where the plans for Experiencing PR 2023 started.
Without a theme but knowing that the Conference had to hold in March as a symbolic participation during the International Women’s Month, we started submitting our sponsorship proposals in October 2022. (We got zero sponsors, by the way!) When I finally decided on the Conference theme in December, driven by my ongoing study of global and local economic predictions and the various implications at the time, the next step was identifying speakers.
I had a very clear picture of the kind of speakers I wanted. Not anyone who would speak because they funded us in anyway; but intelligent, accomplished professionals who typified individuals who had cultivated and enjoyed the benefits of a positive perception. Their organisations too needed to have a stellar reputation and a great public perception.
Each time I got a YES from the speakers I approached — I danced a little in my home office. But somewhere in my mind, a little voice asked “what if no one shows up?”
Event Day
The day before, I got sick. I had managed a roundtable peer-led event for a Mosron Communications’ client; I facilitated a virtual training on Communication Strategies to Earn Citizens’ Trust and Build Positive Perception for the staff of the Lagos State Ministry of Information & Strategy. By the time I got home, I had a blinding migraine and could barely lift my head.
But there was still so much to be done, and it got done. On Thursday 30th — I went to the Conference with the mindset of “whatever happens today, at least it is over”. So, imagine my surprise when I saw that people started arriving at 9am for a Conference billed to open for registration at 10:30am!
Nigerian Women in PR has a culture of being a stickler for time — and we stayed true to that culture at this event. Of course, I had a mini heart attack when I realized that I had forgotten 1 leg of my shoe at home. (Hey ladies, here is a hack: ALWAYS have an extra pair of shoes in your car. You never know when you’ll need them!)
Tolu, what exactly are you building with Nigerian Women in PR?
- A global organisation for Nigerian female public relations and communications professionals practicing anywhere across the world. At the Conference, we launched our Premium Membership category and those members will have access to all growth resources and networks we have secured through the strategic corporate partnerships we have closed. For more information on this, email us via member@ngwomeninpr.org
- An impact organisation that will continually advocate for the understanding and value of public relations. You see, the better society and businesses understand the power of public relations, the better PR professionals will earn — and the more passionate we all will be to do this work.
- A global resource centre and recruitment partner for organisations looking to employ qualified public relations and communications professionals. Whether your multinational needs to fill a diversity quota or your small business is in dire need to competent young professionals in communications — we will share your vacancy notices with our curated database of PR professionals, both male and female.
Of course, our Premium Members will always eat first!
Some Heartbreaking Losses
When we planned our relaunch, one thing that became immediately obvious was the need for strategic global and local partnerships that will aid the professional growth of our members. We realised the importance of providing a platform that would allow our members network and engage with other public relations professionals across the world.
I secured an introduction to the PRCA, and revisited my suspended conversation with Global Women in PR. Both conversations progressed smoothly, so imagine my utter shock when, on March 17th, we received news of the passing of Francis Ingham — PRCA’s Director General.
I had started a conversation with Global Women in PR in 2021 after Faith Senam Ocloo referred them to me. I reached out this year and we picked up our conversation about partnership. On March 28th, Angela Oakes — co-founder and co-president of GWPR, with whom I had exchanged emails two weeks prior — passed on after a short illness linked to her battle with cancer.
So what’s next?
Well, first I am on a mini-break! I can’t go on a full break because my responsibilities at Mosron Communications subsists but you can bet I am looking forward to the Easter break. But I glad that we were able to secure three earned media for our Mosron clients (see it here, here and here) in the midst of a hectic schedule.
For Nigerian Women in PR, the burden to double down on the success of the conference and deliver even more impact programs is one that I gladly bear. At #ExperiencingPR2023, we:
• Launched the ExperiencingPR magazine — which is available for complimentary download here
- Launched a citizen advocacy campaign on environmental cleanliness called #TrashyourTrash. We invite organisations to support us in driving the adoption of this initiative. A clean environment is one way to improve the perception of our communities and dear nation.
• Launched the Nigerian Women in PR Scholarship Fund to provide financial aid to female scholars and academics carrying our research in PR. We have personally endowed this fund with N1,000,000 and we invite others to join us in our aim to support Nigerian female academics contribution to scholarly work in the global industry. Our focus recipients for the scholarships are Nigerian female final year students, and PhD candidates in public relations anywhere around the world.
• Launched the first Global Directory of Nigerian Women Owned/Led PR Firms — which is included in the magazine. It is the first of such initiative anywhere in the world, and we are excited that other countries are now reaching out to us, to produce a similar material in their own regions.
Tolu! You Always Write an Epistle! Why all These?
A young friend told me the other day that each time she sees my posts, she thinks “Oh! Tolu is back with her thesis again. Why is her writing always so serious?” Lol. PR is serious business, and I suppose my specialisation in B2B and social impact comms reflects in my personal writing as well.
So why all these?
Well first — it is our individual responsibility to shape our narrative and document our part in making history. A century from now, I would not want the part I played in elevating the practice of PR in Nigeria to become a footnote or even blotted out from the stories that will be told then.
Secondly — there is a story behind the glamour and successes you see. The tears and sweat, the sleepless nights and crushing disappointments. When we fail to tell those stories, we paint a picture that the path to success is full of sunshine and roses. Definitely not so. I write to encourage that one person who needs to break free from the failures in your youth, and reach for greater things ahead. Worst case scenario, you will fail again but you would have learnt how not to do something; and in the best scenario — you would be living your dreams.
Thirdly — If I don’t tell my story, who will?
Finally…
It is important for me to recognise and appreciate the community that has contributed to my growth and challenged me over the years. As the third of four daughters of a widow, I invited my mum to the #ExperiencingPR2023 conference so she could witness another of her daughters doing well and living her dreams. That my mum has no need to worry, and she can see the evidence of her incredible labour to educate four ladies single-handedly.
My sisters who are incredible — Temitope Sogbanmu, PhD, Mrs Temitayo Oke, and my baby sister who, despite a 2:1 grade in Actuarial Science from the University of Lagos is now gradually following in my steps in the PR profession — Titilayo Igbalajobi.
Just as important, I remember my late father who passed on when I was 10, a journalist who fed my love for books and started me on the journey that made the Conference a reality — late Tokunbo Olaite Popoola. I am my father’s daughter, a living testament of his legacy.
Of course, to my own nuclear family who bore the direct brunt of the intense and grueling demands of planning and delivering the Conference: my husband, Oluwaseun Olorundero — I am a proud farmer’s wife; and my sons who keep asking “so mummy, are you going to be on TV today”, and whose best description of the work I do as a public relations consultant is “my mummy do meetings”: Olaite and Ifebayo; you have your mummy back with you — at least until the next event!
If you read till this point, you are the real MVP. So THANK YOU for always being a captive audience, and permitting me to share my journey of becoming.
Best, always!
